Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death (1989)

A professor of women's studies delves into the "wilderness" of California to try to dissuade a tribe of cannibalistic feminists from eating men. She's joined by an airhead student and Bill Maher. It's a... "comedy".

SHOULD I WATCH IT?
There's a really distinct feel to this movie. It's low budget camp... the sort you'd find on Comedy Central at 2 p.m. on a Saturday. You know, when you were in high school and had nothing better to do. If you had a cooler adolescence than me, you were probably stoned at the time, because who watches Comedy Central at 2 p.m. when there's not mind-altering substances involved? (No, I didn't smoke. I was too busy doing some combination of sucking my thumb, chugging Mountain Dew, and playing Final Fantasy IV.) Anyway, if you're going for that sort of nostalgia, dig it. Otherwise, I'd say you can do a lot better. We recently watched Fatal Instinct, which falls into this same era of campy movies, but the difference was I actually cracked a smile at Fatal Instinct. And if you're looking for a jungle women exploitation flick, you'll be disappointed. There is one scene with boobs and they're blurred out. Literally any other movie gives you more nudity than this. Sorry, bros.


PARTICIPATION

1. Make a list of the Comedy Central-aired movies you've seen at least twice.
2. Take a drink every time guacamole is referenced.
3. Take a drink for every "joke" that does not cause you to laugh.
4. Call 911 at the 10 minute mark and report your imminent alcohol poisoning.

THE SUMMARY
Somebody tell Fresno that they're entrenched in the wild and dangerous avocado jungle. 'Cause that's what this map is implying. Also, Death Valley, Bakersfield, and everything east of L.A. Was this movie conceived in Kasakhstan? Even as a movie for stoners, I'm not buying it.

All right, so she's a feminist and she's a ditz.  Prepare for those wacky jokes.

There is a boom mic in this scene, though. You can at least revel in that.

...wait, why are there mathematical equations on the whiteboard of the women's studies lecture hall? Oh, right. Because college.

The whole movie feels like it was filmed in the same public park. There are lush green lawns in the middle of the "jungle". You kind of keep looking for a frisbee to enter the frame. You feel embarrassed for the crew.

Is the plot important? I guess I could talk about that. Feminist lady, ditz lady, and Bill Maher, their guide, are looking for the cannibal women. The cannibal women eat men. There's not-funny jokes about feminism and masculinity. Maybe this was cutting edge in 1989?

At one point in the film, our intrepid voyagers come across a group of men who live in the jungle and make peace offerings (like crocheted potholders) to the cannibal tribes in hopes they will not become dinner. Bill Maher is vexed by their lack of machismo and shows them how to be real men, namely by drinking 2% ABV beer and catcalling. Which immediately inspires the tribe to try to rape someone. Thanks, movie.

If it weren't so stupid, I might feel insulted. As a man or a woman.
I don't even know how to feel any more.

Adrienne Barbeau - that actress that you swear you've seen before, maybe it was on some kinda Star Trek, or Murder, She Wrote, or any other TV show filmed between 1985 and 1995 - plays the leader of the cannibal women, previously a renowned feminist scholar. There's big cardboard sets and women running around in face paint and skimpy clothes (but as I mentioned above, not-skimpy-enough-to-fulfill-those-needs).

I dunno. It's a thing we watched. Overall, pretty boring. My poor husband was convinced that I'd never let him pick another movie again. And you know what? Maybe I won't. Someone must pay.