SHOULD I WATCH IT?
I'd say no. It's more irritating than funny. There is a lot of re-used footage that drags on and on, giving one the impression that the filmmakers were stretching everything really thin to create a full-length movie. We had a hard time getting through it, so only the bravest and most masochistic viewers should make an attempt. I'm really curious to see The Final Executioner, though, and make comparisons.
PARTICIPATION
1. Use a stopwatch to track scenes from the time they start to the resolution. Especially for establishing shots.
2. Call out every instance in which a take is re-used.
3. Shout "okelie dokelie!" whenever someone refers to Ned.
4. Take a drink when someone refers to Humanoids and Androids and you're not sure which is which.
5. Tally every time you see this stairwell (white light on the left, blue on the right):
THE SUMMARY
We're shown about six hours of establishing shots. There's technology, from control panels to rocket staging areas to TV test patterns. This is to inform the viewer that our story takes place in the future. Then we get lots of shots of New York City to gently imply that this is happening in New York City. Did we mention it's New York City? Here's a bridge. And the World Trade towers. And another bridge. Gotta have night shots, too. NEW YORK CITY! 'Cause it's called Bronx Executioner. Gotta make that clear. New York City. New York City, guys.
That said... the bulk of the film takes place in either 1) a quarry or 2) a castle. It's not even like they say the Bronx was destroyed or anything. The Bronx is just inexplicably the fucking wilderness. But then I can't really complain. It's a post-apocalyptic Italian movie; you're gonna see some quarries.
Our hero is a cop who's assigned to the "Bronx" and meets his contact, whom everyone calls "The Black Man".
"Go to the Bronx and ask for the black man. They'll know who you mean."
I suppose our cop hero really wants the sheriff's badge, and so Woody Strode puts him through a training montage. I do love a good training montage. Apparently a good way to train someone is to suspend them from a catwalk and try to smash their knuckles with a lead pipe. Also, crawling under barbed wire.
This is probably the most credible act of the NYPD in recent years.
The facilities are also top-notch.
The problem the police are attempting to solve is that there are Humanoid and Android gangs warring. It's kind of like Blade Runner, if you never knew what differentiated either side, or even which character was supposed to be on which side. I... think the androids are the malfunctioning ones, and the humanoids are the kind of more functional ones? In both gangs, the dress code is comprised of studded leather jackets and/or denim. In the case of the leader of the Humanoids (I think), the outfit of choice is suspenders and a Michigan tank top. We got to calling him "Tatters".
My husband suggested that he has a closet full of shirts like this and has to pick just the right one to start his day.
The villains are the Androids (still not sure on this one), namely Shark and Margi. The movie does us the favor of showing a rape scene in which no pants are so much as unbuttoned, and then has the villains re-watch it later on a monitor. As Michael J. Nelson would say, "when a movie starts showing you parts of itself, you know you're in trouble".
There are some positives, though: Shark does bear a little resemblance to Dune-era Kyle MacLachlan. (Cat sound.) And for fans of the female form, you totally get to see Margi naked. Eye candy for everyone! Because exploitation movie, after all.
Other highlights of the film include attack dogs that look more like they're after tennis balls than human flesh; shots being re-used at least 4 times; lots of blinky control panels; walkie-talkies; motorcycle stunts; synthesized saxophones; lots and lots and lots of running around; and, of course, the end.
What does it mean when the continuity person is the first credit?
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